I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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