dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
