if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
