is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
