the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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