party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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