Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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