I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
