id be glad to
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
The chlamydia really affected his face.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
