are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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