They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
