We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
