Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
It was a blind-side dick pic.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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