My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize