I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
