Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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