Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
