i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
