College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
