Kiss
Puke
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
