You're completely useless in the revolution.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
