1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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