Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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