Tell her she can't have a vagina
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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