And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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