if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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