I wish I only lived at night.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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