he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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