How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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