Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
