I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
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I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
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My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
How drunk are you?
Completed.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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