it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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