Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
