Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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