Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
