Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
