people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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