Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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