I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
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