So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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