apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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