I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
