Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
