Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
