Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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