covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Everything about him screamed your future.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
