hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
