Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
