those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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