THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
