I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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