Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
