I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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