It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
