I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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