Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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