i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
