I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize