it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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