It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
