Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
