just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
